The Human embodiment of a Tide PodTHE HUMAN EMBODIMENT OF A TIDE PODOnly one of them is now thankfully discontinued. Now, because most of you aren't 12 year olds that religiously follow some of the stupidest internet trends, I will unfortunately have to introduce you to Mr. Paul's rise to fame. Vine was a platform for thousands of individual people with hilarious thoughts and ideas that usually only would be a short ten second joke with a friend. With the 6 second video application, these 'creators' (I hate to call most of them as such, something I'll talk about at another time) were able to do the same - but with millions of people who could watch it again. And again. And again - until someone tells them to knock it off. I DON'T CARE IF YOU DROPPED YOUR STUPID CROISSANT FELICIA. God. Anyways, this is where the Paul brothers - Jake and Logan - got their start. They amassed a huge following of young kids (around ages 8-14) and when Twitter announced they were shutting Vine down in 2016, the two young men had a strong enough fanbase to make the jump to Youtube along with former viners like Lele Pons, Andrew 'King Bach' Bachelor, and the girlfriend-assaulting Curtis Lepore. Logan Paul and Jake Paul, however, thrived to rise far past their counterparts - never underestimate the power of tween girls (remember Bieber?) - and Logan Paul himself is currently the fastest youtube creator to reach 10 million subscribers in Youtube history. It's just a shame that he's also a complete and utter headass.
Now i'm sure that at least some of you have heard about the recent scandal concerning this Alpha Choch, the one where he uh - for some reason thought it'd be alright to travel to an infamous 'suicide forest' in Japan (where culturally, reverence and respect id of the utmost importance), find a dead body, film the dead body, and then laugh about it with his friends. In one instance of the video, which was posted to his youtube channel (and later re-uploaded), Paul stands before the body and giggles, "What? You've never stood next to a dead guy?" No, Logan. They hadn't. We haven't. And you are disgusting. What's horrifying however is the way his massive fanbase of little kids will fight like an army to defend his - well. Not honor. He doesn't have that. We'll say...his...thought process. If you could call what lead up to such a stupid decision, that. These kids, though, were the ones resulting in the video's 6 million views, 500k likes, and 57k subs gain within the hour the video was uploaded in. This video, because of Youtube's asinine algorithm, was promoted to the #1 trending spot, which I was shocked to find staring at me the morning I found this mess. But this scandal isn't the focus of this post, as there are plenty of news sites that have covered the ridiculousness. No, this is about the urgent need to eradicate Logan Paul and cancer like him, from the public eye in general. When I say Logan Paul is a Tide pod, I'm not just using one concerning instance of stupidity to be funny about another. I'm dead serious.
When the 'Tide Pod Challenge' came around, it was brought upon by the internet's careful curiosity and amusement over the appearance of the pods, how cute they were, how you almost wanted to bite into it. When Logan and Jake Paul first emerged, their little six second vines were ridiculous, sure, but harmless all the same. Their content wasn't really directed towards kids at that point either, but tweens and teens alike found it amusing, so they rolled with it, as anyone might do. Over time however, realizing far more younger kids enjoyed them, their content quality changed, most of which took place in the move to youtube. The Tide Pod Challenge itself exploded on both twitter and Youtube, but the latter here is in question. Youtube also catapulted Logan Paul into mainstream fame, and his content took a steep dive in quality and substance - but somehow also lengthened into 'vlogs'? Which is really just Logan shoving his camera into the faces of unwilling and unlucky video participants, and showing all the idiotic things one human can manage to shove into a sole 24 hours. His channel, or the subscriber base, exploded, leading to that 10 million (the majority of whom are children). Tide Pods, when you eat them, are toxic - because duh, common sense maybe? And the young people who watch youtube or have access to twitter were loving it, watching the reactions. And then, they'd go to try it themselves, something that seems so obviously unsafe to a person whose brain is somewhat close to being fully developed - but not so evident to a child. In this same spirit, the millions of kids behind Logan Paul's dumb actions have no clue they are, in face, wrong. They may even disregard people telling them so, because their role model is doing it anyway. So in their minds, why shouldn't they? The shame is, before social media was so widely available to everyone, you could at least somewhat keep children’s minds safe. But now, you’ve got eight year olds opening up YouTube to their favorite blonde haired weirdo introducing their very first image of a hanging corpse. Some kids will now think that such disrespect is acceptable. Others will be horrified and scarred for life. More, will be desensitized altogether because Logan and his gang of buffoons made the ordeal into a giant joke. Kids see logan jumping on news vans, harassing neighbors, and filming people without their concent just to get new subs and more likes. He’s inspiring a generation of delinquents and it’s absolutely ridiculous that this whole ordeal still isn’t quite mainstream. YouTube hadn’t even striked his channel, and they’ve deleted entire channels for less than these offenses. Even Disney decided they were done with him. But worst of all, we, the public, for some reason still indulge his idiocy. And it needs to stop. ~K
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Author18, Freshman Finance major at Howard University in Washington DC. Can't wait to go to Law school though! Archives
August 2018
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