We all have That friend...
There are always different types of friends in a group, everyone tends to have their own niche or role within it - even you and I, dear reader. Sometimes however, we have to acknowledge that the role itself isn't always a good one, and sometimes the person who hold's that less than ideal role is going to piss you the hell off. There are more than a few types, but I'll just focus on the kinds I've had the misfortune of dealing with recently.
Askhole: Someone who constantly asks for advice, and yet just as consistently does the opposite of what they were advised, and routinely complains about the results of those actions.
So, as you could tell from the definition above, the askhole is a pain in the ass. Lets refer to her as...W. Now, Miss W comes to me to ask some advice on, you know - something usual - boy problems. She's met a boy on Tinder and has gotten super freaking attached despite not even having seen this man yet. So she wants my advice on how she should dive in. I suggest a meet up of course, tell her to get to know him a little, and decide if they want to go on a first date or not based on how she feels. W nods, says yes, scurries off to presumably do so.
Three days later W texts that they went on a date the first day, made out, and he's offered her a room in his house to 'accommodate her college experience better'.
First of all - dude is obviously creepy as fuck. Second of all - as you can see, she didn't listen one bit. But, as per usual, being a good friend, I offer her some more advice. On, you know, slowing the hell down with all this, and of course it all goes in one year and right out the other...
Fast forward a week and a half and apparently he's stopped talking to her the moment after they had sex for the first time, and he suddenly has a new roommate who won't tolerate an extra person with them. Then, he ghosts W, of course, and she ends up crying on my shoulder..
That shoulder is getting colder man.
I don't like 'I told you' so's, but....I FREAKING TOLD YOU SO.
Now far be it from me to comfort a friend in need...but W tends to cross a line with it. Namely, when she pulls the whole "Why didn't you warn me?!" shtick. It's getting stale.
There's constructive criticism. There's concern out of care and kindness. And then there's just being a judgemental little prick.
Now, 'B', as we'll call her, likes to insert her opinion everywhere. Even when completely unprompted, in the worst situations. Let's say you walk in with a new hairdo, something you really like, and the moment you walk in the door B exclaims - "oooh girl! What happened? I liked that other style better, this one is just not for you sweety..."
You get the idea. And she doesn't. This is always obnoxious...
I honestly feel bad for this last category. Let's call this one...'L'.
Now L, she's a sweet girl. I genuinely like her, but, something often overshadows that. L is the love child of a superpowered pessimist and Bad Luck Brian. It's true that her life isn't easy, however, she makes it so much worse for herself by beginning to make things worse - similar to the askhole - and believing they'll never get better. Unlike someone with say, depression however - she is doing this for attention at least 60% of the time. How do I know this? Because she admitted it to me. How are you supposed to have sympathy for someone who thrives off of it? This soul sucking energy vampire would fit right in with Twilight. Only no sparkles.
18, Freshman Finance major at Howard University in Washington DC. Can't wait to go to Law school though!